Potor Can't Write

Madison Avenue

Why, yes, I think I will rant. Thank you for asking.

I’m tired of bad advertising. Not everyone is clever enough to come up with a Jack in the Box add. But come on, at least try. Uninspired is ok, but some of the stuff we are subjected to is criminal.

Behold...The Worst:

"Webster’s Dictionary Defines [x] as…"

I may not be able to write, but even I know this junior high essay crutch is awful. This doesn’t apply only to advertising, but all writing (even I know that). Regurgitating a definition doesn’t add anything. Its just padding, just trying to increase your word count. But Advertising needs to be concise and that’s what makes its use here so much worse. Yet, the other day I was read the definition of “quality” in a radio spot for a local jewelry store. The sad thing was they didn’t even explain how they thought their store met the definition.

Extreme

In 1996 the Extreme Games renamed themselves the X Games because they thought the word “extreme” was an over-used marketing buzzword. That was 12 years ago. Yet products are routinely given this label when there is nothing else valid to promote about it. Extreme used to mean exceeding normality to the largest degree. Now it means “We can’t think of anything good about this, but we bet a 12 year-old boy will buy it”

"Easy Drinking"

Does anyone look for food to be “easy-eating” or clothes to be “easy-wearing”? Then, why do we need beer to be “easy drinking”. Have you ever heard anyone say “Oh, this beer is too hard to drink . I need something easier.” Mass produced beer manufacturers spend hundreds of millions of dollars on advertising and one of the most important things they have to say about their product is that it is “Easy Drinking”. I guess advertising it as “flavorless” wasn’t working.

Must see episode

The phrasing on this is quite varied, but it always boils down to the “Incredible, cannot miss, shocking episode”. Rarely does TV produce shows that live up to that. Most of the time these episodes are standard fair with extra hype piled on top. I actually stopped watching ER because I got sick of them pitching every week’s episode as “unbelievable” only to have it be pretty much the same thing as the week before. ER wasn’t bad, I just got sick of them telling me western civilization hung in the balance of me watching. I’d rather they say “this is a pretty good episode, you should check it out.”

"Action" News

Local news casts are usually piss poor, but that doesn’t stop them from pitching themselves as world class investigators.

ACTION NEWS at 10!!!

Promo shot of them standing in serious contemplation with their arms folded as the traffic helicopter passes behind them.

ACTION NEWS! Hard Hitting, Late Breaking!! The most award winning news team in town!!!

Honestly, what the hell is ACTION news anyway? Do they DO any action? No. Shouldn’t it be READING ABOUT ACTION NEWS or TALKING ABOUT STUFF OTHER PEOPLE DID NEWS. It doesn’t matter, the whole image is blown once you actually watch the newscast of them reporting on the kitten stuck in a tree.

Misspelled by Potor @ 9:25 PM